My husband and I took our child to my inlaws today, and my mother in law bought my son a Halloween costume without even asking me 1. if i already had a costume for him and 2. what i was planning on dressing him up as.
this just really REALLY annoys me. I know it seems petty to you, but you dont know my MIL. She made this huge dramatic deal a few months ago about buying my son a stuffed animal (when i say huge, i mean HUGE deal out of it. it was very strange) but she didnt think twice about asking me about the Halloween costume before she bought it.
My son loved it (a fire fighter costume. an expensive one too), so its not like i can take it back, and my husband would be beyond pissed if i did. It just really irritates me that she did this.
I feel as the mother of my son that i should be the one to decide what he is for Halloween, not someone else. I already had something picked out, but i guess its a good thing i didnt buy it yet.
I just feel she totally stepped on my toes with this one.
I ususally have no problem with confronting her about things, but i am pregnant and dont need extra stress. I would talk to my husband about it, but again, i dont need extra stress, since he will just say im being mean and difficult.
she also made a snide rude comment when i was saying how great i felt with this pregnancy, and how i would (jokingly) have 10 more if i could feel this good every time.
she just annoys the crap out of me to no end. always has and ive known her for 11 1/2 years. just the sound of her voice is like nails on chalk board to me.
have you ever felt that your mother in law has stepped on your toes in regards to your child?
the thing that really bothers me is that both my mother in law and my father in law only take interest in him on THEIR terms. when its convient for THEM.
Its a lot of little things that really add up. she just pisses me off…lol!
Even my own mother knows to ask first. she calls and asks does _____ have this? and things along those lines. and my mother has been in love with my son since the day i told her i was pregnant.
FOr me it has to do with respect.
any BTW: i am not giving ANYONE thumbs down. it must be all the TD fairies on the prowl today.
cemetery grave: you are totally right. she is totally taking the fun of picking out the costume away from me….after all, she got to do that with all 5 of her kids. this is the last year that it will just be my son by himself, so i want to make everything as special as possible. doesnt help when people rain on your parade.
Yeah I’d be annoyed.
All you have to say is to the mother in law, that while it’s a nice gesture next time she should ask so you don’t have two costumes but more importantly to have the respect that this is your child, and she taking away the fun from you picking out his Halloween costume. She had her own kids to do this with, let you have your kids to do this with.
Propose next time a joint effort if she wants to be involved in something like this.
At least the kid likes it, be happy about that.
One thing I know with women like this is that they are not acting adult. They are acting like high school girls with dirty tricks, mind games, and playing one against the other. You are still acting adult… But you are losing the battle. And this time there is no teacher or parent to run to. Don’t talk ill about her to your husband, I’m willing to bet he knows how he is, but just doesn’t want to make waves.
What you have to do is try to level the playing field. Use your wit! Beat her at her own game, that’s how i dealt with girls like this when i was in high school. Once you turn the attention back on them… They learn to stop soon enough. But with you, your weapon is your smile, and a soft chuckle. If you say a come back, always say it with a smile, and even laugh it off as though you were making a joke. She’ll know EXACTLY what you mean, but if she takes it the wrong way, you can play her game and act like that was not what you intended at all, thus making her seem like the negative one who wants to start a fight out of ‘nothing’. *wink*
I know it’s dirty tricks, but if she’s going to play that game, and you have to live with it, you should at least know the rules.
The difference between you are her? NEVER START IT. She’s the one making rude comments to begin with, so defend your self in this way. But never opt to be the first to make a rude comment to her. She’ll see what you are doing and with any luck she will stop.
But beware… This takes practice, and she has more practice at it then you. Don’t give up. If you can’t think of anything to say at first, think about it later and try to come up with something you could have said back… Develop your wit in private, then when it happens again, you’ll be more on the ball.
Thank you for pressing the link and reading this long answer, just please tough it out and give me some advice. Also please be mature about this. Be honest but now to brutal. Thank!
I work at a very well known children‘s store. We recently got a new boss and at first she was very nice. Then she adjusted and became the typical bossy boss. I did my work as I did before fill like I was suppose to, rang up the guest with some minor problems nothing to big. Then one day she asked me to get a stuffed animal with a coin of a certain color. I did as I was told and we had the stuffed animal of the color she wanted but with no coin. I came out and told her and with a frustrated irritated voice told me to take off a coin of another stuffed animal and put it with the other one. I just brushed it off thinking maybe she was having a bad day. Then another time she had me fill one whole wall of boys clothes and toys so I did that and more. I went up to her and let her know I was done and ask her for the next assignment and she replied back “Go away, right now you do not exist to me. Go, go away.” The guest she was helping started to laugh. It felt a little bit deemining because I looked like an idiot standing there looking like I didn’t know what I was doing. But then again I brushed it off as if I’m being to sensitive. A week ago we just brought out our halloween costumes. I was steaming a certain dress that was going to be a best seller. So I decided to steam it extra special. 15 minutes go by and she comes out and said “Iced*, How hard is it to steam a child’s costume?” she grabbed the steamer out of my hands and steams a certain part really quick and said “Hmm, how hard is that?? Show me, show me how hard is it to steam a dress in less than 5 minutes.” Something like that. I tried to explain to her that I wanted to make the dress look extra pretty but before I could finish what I had to say she walked away. So when I did the next costume that was made of satin I did the way she asked me to quick and go. I picked up the mannequin and she goes “Don’t you think that needs to be steamed a little bit more?” That really pissed me off. I wanted to knock her head off with the doll. but I kept my cool and said ok.
My real answer is this: Am I being to sensitive? Or Is she really cruela de vill? I never in my life had to put up with people like this. Everytime I try to defend my self she cuts me off and goes. Also I’m not the only one she does this too. she does it to other people my age. Ever since she been acting like this I go to work stressing that she might fire me, or yell, or make me feel stupid. I’m about to be 20 in december and I’ve had 2 jobs before this.
Also we are pretty low with employment because of the economy so basically the company was desperate and begged her to come back and work for the company again.
I don’t want to leave this job because I like it and the perks.
She’s a jerk. Some people are. It isn’t illegal, even if they’re your boss. Outlast her. Good luck.
I had an idiot once for a boss. He ended up leaving, on my 50th birthday – best birthday present I ever had!
Do Muslims celebrate Halloween? How is Halloween perceived in Islam? To make an informed decision, we need to understand the history and traditions of this festival.
Muslims have two celebrations each year, ‘Eid al-Fitr and ‘Eid al-Adha. The celebrations are based in the Islamic faith and religious way of life. There are some who argue that Halloween, at least, is a cultural holiday, with no religious significance. To understand the issues, we need to look at the origins and history of Halloween.
Pagan Origins of Halloween
Halloween originated as the Eve of Samhain, a celebration marking the beginning of winter and the first day of the New Year among ancient pagans of the British Isles. On this occasion, it was believed that supernatural forces gathered together, that the barriers between the supernatural and human worlds were broken. They believed that spirits from other worlds (such as the souls of the dead) were able to visit earth during this time and roam about. At this time, they celebrated a joint festival for the sun god and the lord of the dead. The sun was thanked for the harvest and given moral support for the upcoming “battle” with winter. In ancient times, the pagans made sacrifices of animals and crops in order to please the gods.
They also believed that on October 31st, the lord of the dead gathered all the souls of the people who had died that year. The souls upon death would dwell in the body of an animal, then on this day the lord would announce what form they were to take for the next year.
When Christianity came to the British Isles, the church tried to take attention away from these pagan rituals by placing a Christian holiday on the same day. The Christian festival, the Feast of All Saints, acknowledges the saints of the Christian faith in much the same way that Samhain had paid tribute to the pagan gods. The customs of Samhain survived anyway, and eventually became intertwined with the Christian holiday. These traditions were brought to the United States by immigrants from Ireland and Scotland.
Halloween Customs and Traditions
“Trick or Treating”: It is widely believed that during the Feast of All Saints, peasants went from house to house asking for money to buy food for the upcoming feast. Additionally, people dressed in costumes would often play tricks on their neighbors. Blame for the resulting chaos was placed on the “spirits and goblins.”
Images of bats, black cats, etc.: These animals were believed to communicate with the spirits of the dead. Black cats especially were believed to house the souls of witches.
Games such as bobbing for apples: The ancient pagans used divination techniques to foresee the future. There were various methods of doing this, and many have continued through traditional games, often played at children‘s parties.
Jack-O’-Lantern: The Irish brought the Jack-O’-Lantern to America. The tradition is based on a legend about a stingy, drunken man named Jack. Jack played a trick on the devil, then made the devil promise not to take his soul. The devil, upset, promised to leave Jack alone. When Jack died, he was turned away from Heaven because he was a stingy, mean drunk. Desperate for a resting place, he went to the devil but the devil also turned him away. Stuck on earth on a dark night, Jack was lost. The devil tossed him a lighted coal from the fire of Hell, which Jack placed inside a turnip as a lamp to light his way. Since that day, he has traveled the world over with his Jack-O’-Lantern in search of a resting place. Irish children carved out turnips and potatoes to light the night on Halloween. When the Irish came to America in great numbers in the 1840’s, they found that a pumpkin made an even better lantern, and this “American tradition” came to be.
Virtually all Halloween traditions are based either in ancient pagan culture, or in Christianity. From an Islamic point of view, they all are forms of idolatry (shirk). As Muslims, our celebrations should be ones that honor and uphold our faith and beliefs. How can we worship only Allah, the Creator, if we participate in activities that are based in pagan rituals, divination, and the spirit world? Many people participate in these celebrations without even understanding the history and the pagan connections, just because their friends are doing it, their parents did it (“it’s a tradition!”), and because “it’s fun!”
So what can we do, when our children see others dressed up, eating candy, and going to parties? While it may be tempting to join in, we must be careful to preserve our own traditions and not allow our children to be corrupted by this seemingly “innocent” fun. When tempted, remember the pagan origins of these traditions, and ask Allah to give you strength. Save the celebration, the fun and games, for our ‘Eid festivals. Children can still have their fun, and most importantly, should learn that we only acknowledg
acknowledge holidays that have a religious significance to us as Muslims. Holidays are not just excuses to binge and be reckless. In Islam, our holidays retain their religious importance, while allowing proper time for rejoicing, fun and games.
Guidance From the Quran
On this point, the Quran says:
“When it is said unto them, ‘Come to what Allah has revealed, come to the Messenger,’ they say, ‘Enough for us are the ways we found our fathers following.’ What! Even though their fathers were void of knowledge and guidance?” (Qur’an 5:104)
“Has not the time arrived for the believers, that their hearts in all humility should engage in the remembrance of Allah and of the Truth which has been revealed to them? That they should not become like those to whom was given the Book aforetime, but long ages passed over them and their hearts grew hard? For many among them are rebellious transgressors.” (Qur’an 57:16)
May Allah forgive us all for falling into temptation, may He guide us all
The Prophet(pbuh) said: ”Whoever imitates a nation is one of them!” (Abu Da’oud).
@Sleepy, thank User Adeeb.
@adeeb ameen to your dua, but the credit goes to you too…and ofcourse most importantly to whoever wrote that article.
May Allah shower His peace, mercy, blessings AND forgiveness upon us all ;)
May Allah make the Muslim Ummah strong.
Salam wa alaikkum and greetings of peace,
Halloween is a pagan celebration, thus its not allowed to be celebrated.
Hence, if you want to then you can because you have free will.
I know a Christian girl who chooses not to celebrate it.
I believe its of the devil and shouldn’t be celebrated by muslims or people who believe in God.
Its just isn’t something to feel proud of.
Have fun and party, but it isn’t beneficial or apart of Islam.
I stick to the Sunnah and the QUR”AN
ITs the Truth
My daughter is going to be a skunk for Halloween. LOL…I didn’t think I wanted any animal costumes this year until I tried on the skunk and it was so adorable on her :D
She is 11 months old…last Halloween she just wore a Halloween onesie and helped hand out candy. I am excited about taking her around this year!
BQ: Is your child going to be allowed to eat the candy they collect? I am taking my daughter mostly for the fun of it, but I don’t think I will give her much of the candy…I was thinking MAYBE a sucker in her highchair every now and then…but I’m thinking her candy will last a few years :P She hasn’t had many sweets in her life and when I do give her a taste of something she doesn’t like it….the only “sweets” she likes is fruits, and even then she prefers veggies!
As i said she will have a few pieces, probably mostly suckers, but possibly other things if i see if fit for her..but I don’t want her to get too use to candy.
My son is two and he’ll be going as a dragon – we got the costume second-hand from his cousin. I’ve been putting it on him once a week or so, that way he’ll be used to it by the time halloween comes. I’ve seen my nephews have issues being put in costumes on halloween due to suddenly having it put on them!
Last year he was a little demon – it was very fitting for him haha
I only let him have one or two treats that week, and this year he’ll be allowed a few smarties here and there over the two following weeks. We don’t give him many sweets either – his first taste of chocolate was right before his 1st birthday.
My son loves fruits too – and loves those fruit bars they have in health food stores, so I was thinking of switching up some of his candy for that and having a little bowl of it that he can select from once every two days or something. I was going to try some dried fruit for him too. I’m thinking what we’ll do when he’s older is trade in x amount of candies for other treats, such as a little toy or something, along with some of the treats he gets to keep. The rest will disappear. He’s young right now and doesn’t realize what’s going on, so I’m going to enjoy that while it lasts!
We only go to two houses anyway so it’s not like he gets a ton of stuff, and my husband has a chocolate/candy thing so the odds are HE will be the one I need to monitor!
did adam and eve get bored? what did they talk about? adam named a few or all animals for GOD .. but what they do before that stupid apple tree? adam had no friends other than GOD and eve.. eve had no friends other than GOD and adam.. they had NO STUPID COMPUTORS… did they have sex before the apple or after are we dipping? probably after the dumb apple.. they had no neighbors to drive them insane.. eve had only her garden to clean not other peoples gardens and become exhausted.. i know you will say this is too long of a story JESUS.. eve was only one person adam was only one person.. they couldnt babysit anyones children there werent any yet.. walmart didnt accuse them of stealing yet.. what the heck did they do all day and then time .. how old were they before they picked the dumb apple… they didnt worry about what halloween costumes to wear.. they had no airplanes.. no world trade center.. no earth quakes .. they had no divorces remarrys divorces they had no michael jackson on all magazine covers .. ever wonder what adam and eve did before they ate the stupid apple ? adam wasnt a queer eve wasnt a lesbian.. yet.. but the biggie is adam only had eve and GOD … you could make this story long and the computors filled with lol…… JESUS.. eve didnt have to anything nor adam .. whatever JESUS…
They tended the garden and made lots of babies.
It sounds like you should take one of those nature vacations. You know, “get away from it all.” Camping. Hiking maybe. Give it try.
Powered by Yahoo! Answers